Cuz I’m a redneck woman, I ain’t no high class broad…

Posted in Beauty, Conventions, Gender, culture at 3:29 pm by kyrias

Usually I try to be classier than to single out other blogs that espouse opinions that I don’t agree with and flambé them, but I’ve hit the point where I can’t resist because I finally hit a post that made me so angry.

My conscience and manners tell me that I really could just click that useful little x in the top right corner of this woman’s blog, but it’s not that easy.

You see, I do try to be classy and elegant whenever possible or necessary. I feel that it is important to be courteous, to always keep the higher moral ground, behave with all possible decorum etc etc etc etc. I also feel that it is very important that we hold onto these ideals of civilized behaviour in this day and age where it seems like courtesy and common manners has gone the way of the dodo.

No, in fact, I will not be joining C in sitting on our lawn and screaming at the neighborhood kids to GTFO our lawn, thank you very much. I’m not quite that curmudgeonly, I swear.

As an aside, I’m also not going to take the higher moral ground in this case because I do want to give credit where credit is due in terms of quotations. Besides, I know from reading other blogs and my own reactions to blog owners not giving out incriminating identifying information that people who are really interested will just go ahead and search for the offender anyway. Traffic and imprints be damned and all that.

However, my beef with Ms Pundarik-Dossin is that she’s somehow managed to make me want to cringe and rake my nails over my face every single time she mentions the word “elegant”.

Originally, I was going to settle for making catty comments to my friends and my suitably cryptic Tweet about how I find judgmental people to be infinitely more classless than most things they’re passing judgement on, but one post in particular just lit a fire under me.

I was already wondering, what sort of background does this woman come from?

I had the impression that she must have a decent sort of background because of the people she mentions hobnobbing with, the sort of friends she mentions her parents associating with, and other various tidbits that just hint of at least a bit of disposable income somewhere in her life.

I was becoming frustrated because of the royalty-chasing, the borderline offensive cultural stereotypes, the sexism,  the constant low-key reminders of the differences in privilege and financial ability…

Then there was:

I was inspired to write this post because when I first started dating my fiancé, our dating style was very reminiscent of The Easy Life and that led to a greater intimacy and care for one another. It allowed us to devote an entire few hours to one another. It allowed us to bond and to get to know one another. It allowed us to converse about romantic ideas and it allowed us to have conversations about literature, art, culture, history, science, etc. while dating instead of having the typical “what do you do?” conversations.


Most simply: The Easy Life is characterized by a life where one is never flustered or in a rush. A life where one is rarely too busy for their loved ones. A life where one can put aside hours for their family and friends – where they can speak over a cup of tea for long periods of time and where dinner is extended, either with courses or by not leaving the table right after the meal until all conversational has naturally ceased or until one has made good use of the cheese tray.

Does this sound like something that you might be interested in? Make a few small changes in your life so that your life can start to resemble that of the Easy Life culture:

  • Extend dining periods: make the meals longer so that you can eat slowly and enjoy your company while dining – extend dining periods so that you can make it a time for family and friends
  • Set Aside Personal Culture Time: set aside time each day to read, to cook ambitious recipes, to watch a videotaping of an opera performance, to listen to a ballet recording from start to finish, to discuss culture with valued companions, etc.
  • Make Regular Theater Trips in an Attempt to Socialize

Pundarik-Dossin, N. The Easy Life. Retrieved 3/5/2012 at 3:15pm from http://theproperlady.blogspot.com/2011/04/easy-life.html.

The Easy Life?


I would love to have a life where I don’t have to be in a rush. Where I have the time and wherewithal to have long, leisurely tea parties and dinner parties without worrying about either the cost, the time, or the energy that would require.

My partner works full-time, has overtime frequently, and goes to school part-time. I have work with odd hours, weird days off, and not nearly enough time in a day to clean all the things, go to the bank, and do what needs to be done.

Small changes?

Why do I hear the screams of class warfare right there?

Regular theatre trips? With what money, what time, and what energy?

Personal culture time? When the drama is screaming, when the chores are an albatross around your neck, and when you get home from work at 10:30 to find that there’s been yet more work created for you in your absence?

Then there’s:

When trying to achieve grace, there are some things that we do that really cannot help in any other way. However, there are a few ways to help us be graceful that also help us to become refined and/or elegant. One of these is an instrument that requires good posture and skilled and steady movements (harp, piano, viola, violin, cello, etc.) Fine ladies of the time period placed much more importance on things like music when it came to catching a husband, after all, things like music and art were the societal values of the higher society.

Playing an instrument that requires steadiness, good posture, and preciseness of form really can develop grace and composure in a person. You’ll learn coordination and movements that are not only pleasing to the eye, but create pleasing sounds on the instrument itself.

Dance, especially classical ballet, can also be very helpful in both the creation of grace and the quest to achieve refinement. Ballet requires talent and dedication and it also helps the body to “stretch,” improving posture.

…perhaps we should see classical dance plus classical musical training as a perfect combination for achieving pose.

Pundarik-Dossin, N. Grace and Composure. Retrieved 3/5/2012 at 3:15pm from http://theproperlady.blogspot.com/2011/03/grace-and-composure.html

Tea parties, ballet, and learning a classical instrument? When so many of us all but need a second job to get by, when half of us are trying to find jobs and can’t, when children are starving in Africa?

(Alright. That last was a low blow on top of being a strawman argument that made no sense. I admit it. :D )

This almost makes me want to join the 53% in their poor logic with a rant of my own. I shall refrain, however.

What I’m getting here is elegance is what you do when you have money, time, and energy — something that almost all of Americans are running perilously low on. What I’m hearing is the plummy tones of the aristocracy, asking with all innocent confusion as to why the commoners don’t eat cake or meat gruel.

And that, that makes me want to muppet flail like nothing else.

I just might address my other concerns regarding sexism and stereotypes at some other time.

Right now though? I just want to sit sprawl legged with my hair unkempt, and howl “I’m a redneck woman, I ain’t no high class broad” at my laptop screen.


Won’t someone think of the chillens?!

Posted in Conventions, Feminism, culture at 12:51 am by kyrias

Warning: This blog post will now proceed to engage in the following potentially offensive and triggering activities: victim blaming, victim shaming, cursing, omnicidal intent, and incoherent rage-filled ranting. Continue at your own peril. I take no responsibility for whatever sensibilities might be offended. You have been warned.

C and I just had a fun little conversation where I ended up declaring that if I had access to a little red button that would end the human race, I’d hit it. I’d hit it so hard my wrist would break.

It all started out with the mention of how women at a certain workplace get let go when they fall pregnant.

I will not bore you with our rather longish convo log, but just state my conclusions because to be honest I’m in a frothing sort of rage right now and I can’t be arsed to go ahead and support all my statements with the facts:

I’m really surprised and disappointed that we women as a whole haven’t just closed our legs, sewn up our vaginas and refused to pop out more children unless things were changed. No comments from the peanut gallery about how that wouldn’t work because the mens would just force themselves upon the wimminz — it’s the principle that counts.

I like how we could chain ourselves to fences, to trees, to all sorts of things and endure all sorts of terrible treatment for voting, to save trees, so and so forth, but we’re just sitting here and taking it with regards to childcare and government support and gender inequality in the work place.

I like it because I see it as the result of socioeconomic strata at work again. The rich have enough money to throw at the problem so they can ignore it. The middle-class has dreams of becoming the upper class and being able to throw money at problems and somehow it’s just so gauche to complain that they just suck it up. The poor just take it up the ass, along with everything else.

It’s exactly like the organic food movement. The people who can afford to worry about where their food is coming from and how it’s grown aren’t exactly turning out in droves to fix the problem for everyone. No, they go to Whole Foods and help Whole Foods make a killing.

I just don’t understand it.

It’s not like any other issue where any one of us can stand aside and say “well, fuck it, this doesn’t affect me at all, so the rest of the world can go screw themselves”.

Everyone of us has a mother, some of us have sisters, a large number of us have daughters, and many of us have female spouses and at the very least has friends — gender inequality in the workplace affects you, affects the people you love, affects far too many people in your life — how the hell do people just stand aside and let it happen?


C mentioned something about how the standing argument by the dumbasses is that it’s hard to argue for gender equality when the reality is that women are sometimes, maybe even often, semi-incapacitated (in terms of workforce labor) once they have the chillens.

All I have to say to that is: to explain why things are the way they are right now by saying this is how we failed women is like saying “Oh, I beat my wife up because she limps and isn’t fast enough at catering to my every whim. Oh, what’s that noise about how she wouldn’t be limping if I didn’t beat her to start off with? STFU, man, keep outta my srs bzness”.

To clarify: to complain that women often have to take sick days off to deal with their children, that women often are saddled with most of the childcare duties and so are somewhat more unreliable at work than men, to complain that often women are overworked in the house and so come to work with less than 100% is nothing but pure, fragrant, bullshit.

You know what?

I will think of the children.

I think that it’s better for the children if we just didn’t have anymore children until we cleaned up our act.

Fuck you assholes who see women as nothing more than cheap-ass brood mares that you can use and use and then throw to the knackers when you’re done.


Gender, East-West gender and politic views and just general stupidity

Posted in Conventions, Ethics and morality, Feminism, Future, Gender, culture, life tagged , , at 7:21 pm by kyrias

A friend emailed me an article from the Economist. 

He asked me my thoughts on the article, and one thing really stood out to me: the author says that “most obviously, China should scrap the one-child policy”. 

I think that’s just rank stupidity talking. 

The authors says in the article that other countries without the one-child policy also suffer from a skewed sex ratio. This, to me, says that the one-child policy may be a significant cause in causing the numbers to be as ludicrous as 200 boys to 1 female, but it’s not fixing anything to scrap that policy. 

There’s a couple of problems with the entire situation:

For those couples who can afford multiple children, they’ll simply keep having children until they get their desired boy. If there is enough affluence, then this would just cause a population surge at worst and at best there would be more girls brought into this world to live in a world of passive abuse and neglect with names like “bringing brother” and “summoning brother” or “might as well keep feeding”. Yes, that last was actually a common name. 

For those who cannot afford to feed, clothe and school multiple children, then abortion is still the answer. As standards of living rise in China, more and more couples are realizing the immense amounts of money, time, and energy required to raise a child to be successful. With this in thought, it is more than likely that under those circumstances those people who would prefer sons would abort girls anyways to keep the best for their sons. 

In rural areas, I can all but see rag-tag armies of girls doing the chores, working in the fields, toiling whilst their brothers go to school. For a family who has to scrimp and save for tuition, the only person in the family who will go to school is, of course, the son. 

As a Chinese female, I would rather die than live in the above scenarios. It would be kinder to strangle me at birth or even much more humane to kill me in the womb. To live and be denied education, to be seen as lesser simply because of my gender, and to be seen as a breeder on legs? No thanks. 

Of course, others may not share my view. Others will probably think that life as a slave is better than death. That’s alright. We’re all entitled to our own opinions. 

Speaking as a Chinese woman living in today’s times seeing the gender inequality and the crimes that rise from it: bride-napping, sharing stolen wives between brothers, gang rape by villages of men who just want to breed their next generation of rapist sons — at this point I’m not even particularly keen on living in China. Sounds like a rather dangerous proposition to me, actually. 

It speaks rather eloquently to me that when the demand for women rises, violence against them also rises in proportion to said demand instead of more respect. Instead of having more choices, our lives are put in more danger. 

Nothing is going to change, not the sex ratio, not women’s rights, not anything unless some fundamental views are changed. Before that, perhaps scientists can comfort themselves that at least the numbers aren’t looking quite so horrible at the expense of having more people on the face of this earth — but nothing is fixed

It’s stupid, stupid, stupid to even think so.


Arisia 2010

Posted in Conventions tagged at 9:50 pm by kyrias

I’m going this year!  Azora isn’t working crazy hours and Nora isn’t out of state — so Arisia 2010 is a go

At first, to be honest, I had my reservations about how much I’d get into it. After all, I’m not usually a people person and the thought of spending a couple of days in close proximity to a ton of people usually has me screaming for the hills. Epi-pen please! Not to mention, I’m not really part of any fandom and my World of Warcraft raider card expired a while ago — I think effectively booting me from the geek/fen community. 

I can’t even claim to be a Bioware fangirl since I gave up on Mass Effect. *grin*

These reservations lasted only until Nora and I were talking about food options — because allowing certain people to get hungry can get ugly really quickly — and we were talking about Legal Seafoods. This conversation led to looking up the food options, which led to looking at the schedule…

All I can say is: After looking at the schedule for Arisia 2010, I’m pretty sure I’m going to subsist on hotdogs grabbed in between mad dashes between the events. Some of the events didn’t even look that interesting until I started reading the blurbs. Then things just started rolling downhill from there. I am reminded of college, where all the “I must take this” classes were invariably all in the same exact time slot.  

It’s not just that I have almost every hour slotted for a particular event, it’s that I’m going to bet that it’s going to be really hard to coordinate people so we share the same meal time. If that’s so, I figure we might as well just throw ourselves to the wolves and pretend junk/faire food is good sustenance for  three days or so. 

Although, I will say that if I had the money, I’d totally just eat at the buffets because the menus from last year look really tempting. Seafood in saffron broth, tea sandwiches and chicken pot pie? I’m so there. I’m expecting that the offerings will be just as good, if not better this year. If not, I guess that’s one more temptation shot down before it can assault my pocketbook. All to the good, I figure. 

I’m hoping that the guys will be able to join us, but between work and more work, it’s starting to look really dismal. Oh well. Perhaps next year?