10.30.08

If you can’t afford to tip, just don’t eat out

Posted in Ethics and morality tagged , at 11:07 pm by kyrias

I don’t care how “frugal” you’re being, or how broke you are.

If you can’t afford to tip, don’t bother to eat out.

It’s not even about whether they make minimum wage or not. That’s not the point.

If someone is spending effort to fill your glass in a timely fashion, make sure your food is done right, taking down your substitutions, replacing the bread basket without asking and all that — the least you can do is to tip their service to you. It takes caring and it takes effort to be a good server when it’s a busy night, it’s not just scribbling down stuff, bringing the food out and waiting to scam you out of your hard-earned money.

I’m so beyond tired of people who say that it’s not their fault that the industry doesn’t pay their people properly. Or those who think that just because someone is barely making minimum wage that they don’t deserve a tip even for good service.

Eating out is a luxury. If you can’t afford that luxury, just stay home and order take-out. For crying out loud.

10.28.08

On health insurance in Massachusetts

Posted in Health tagged , at 8:50 pm by kyrias

The good news is, even if I’m a terrible slacker and don’t apply for health insurance, I still won’t get fined. This is because, according to this calculator, I’m within 150% of the Federal Poverty Limit and hence I get 0 fines. The upper limit is 15,612 and I made nowhere near that this year, even with my Ohio income added in, and it’s not going to be counted for this purpose. Also, according to this spreadsheet, I can afford $0 of monthly health insurance premiums.

The bad news is, I can’t afford health insurance. :( The other bit of bad news is that apparently I don’t qualify for MassHealth because although I got my green card before 1996, I’ve left the country for more than 30 days during that time. :) Gotta love bureaucracy.

I think, just to be safe, I might apply for a Certificate of Exemption from health insurance.

I think C is also in the same boat in that he won’t be fined for this year. However, I’m fairly certain he qualifies for MassHealth — by virtue of being U.S born.

10.27.08

Would I have taken that $100 if I were the waitress?

Posted in Ethics and morality tagged , at 2:29 pm by kyrias

In this post, Erica speaks about how she offered a waitress $100 to quit her job right there.

The story is that the waitress took the wrong order and was then required by her boss to pay for the dish out of her own pocket. Erica offered her $50, then $100 to quit her job right there. Others at her table was in support of this idea, one of whom said that he would take her out with them and buy her drinks if she quit.

The waitress ended up not taking the offer.

Erica says that if the server had taken her up on the offer, “she would have received cash, supportive friends, and most importantly, a feeling of confidence that she had embraced her power.”

The comments on this story range from the disdainful to gushing adoration.

If I were the waitress, I would have felt insulted by the offer. According to what Erica says, she was offering the server a chance at embracing her own power and supportive friends.

To me, that’s hardly useful. In today’s climate, who knows if I can land another job if I just up and quit this one? The boss is hardly going to give me a decent recommendation if I just left that night. Then, I’d also feel guilty about just leaving the job and leaving my co-workers in the lurch. Even if the boss is an ass, which he assuredly was, I still believe in work ethic and going through the proper motions. Lastly, offering me a short-term benefit (cash) and taking me out for drinks is not going to convince me that you think I’m worthy. You’re a one-time customer, I would not trust that you would be willing to spend the long-term effort on my behalf to potentially mentor me to find another job, get more education, or whatnot.

I would think that you were being gimmicky. If I were in a dead-end job out of necessity, I would not be able to just quit a job that paid the bills and blithely follow you out for drinks.

And as for TDM, he’s an absolute ass for saying that people take up such jobs because they’re servile and can’t think for themselves. 

It’s not that “I don’t love myself” or some other New-Age cliche like “I’m not embracing my power”. Like Barbara said in the end, perhaps I already have a plan and I don’t need some quack like you coming in and patronizing me like that. Perhaps you have good intentions, but what you’re actually telling me is that you have no idea of what my real circumstances look like and therefore are not trustworthy.

10.26.08

Wonton recipe and how to cook Chinese dumplings properly

Posted in Cooking tagged at 11:37 pm by kyrias

I finally got around to learning how to make wontons. In my defense, my mother hadn’t made these since I was in first grade and we had a mutual agreement that teaching me at that time was a bad idea. An example of what I found fun at that age might explain a lot– using toothpaste to make art on the carpet.

At any rate. Since mom moved to Boston, this means that she has a bit more time to spend on teaching me how to cook. Which is a Good Thing.

Mom’s wonton recipe is a very simple and fast one, and although it doesn’t have a 20 item ingredient list, it’s hardly underwhelming.

1.5 pounds ground pork
4 stalks of green onion
8 dried shitake mushrooms
2 TBSP thick soy sauce ( less salty, a bit sweeter than usual soy)
2 TBSP sesame oil
ground white pepper and salt to taste

If you don’t want to measure out the seasonings, you can just drizzle the thick soy sauce and sesame oil over the ground meat. I do a zigzag pattern from the top of the bowl to the bottom and that usually works.

There’s a lot of videos on the Internets showing people how to fashion wontons, so I’m not even going to try to verbally describe it. It’s one of those things that’s really hard to describe.

The above will make enough filling for two packages of wonton skins if you’re being careful about over-filling and potentially breaking the skin — or if you’re just a skinflint like me. If you’re experienced and talented, it’s enough for one package of wonton skins.

About cooking Chinese dumplings — if you buy the frozen kind, there is a way to cook them without the skins getting soggy.

You bring a pot of water to a rolling boil. It’s better to have a pretty big pot of water that’s about halfway full because you want the water to stay as hot as possible after adding in the frozen stuff so they will cook the outer skin enough that they don’t stick to each other. Stir the dumplings every so often until the water comes to a boil again.

Add a cup of cold water when it boils again.

Repeat 2 more times and after you’ve added the cold water for the 3rd time, let it come to a rolling boil again and scoop the dumplings out.

The cold water makes sure the skin doesn’t fall apart before the frozen insides are cooked. Make sure to stir frequently for the first 5 minutes of cooking because otherwise the dumplings will stick.

10.22.08

Furthermore on the ethics of blogging

Posted in Ethics and morality tagged , , at 1:00 am by kyrias

I should disclose that I review for a romance novel site and they give me free books in exchange for reviews which are then posted on said site.

I have to admit, at least one of my reviews got artificially inflated scores. It was scored on a 1-5 Likert scale and there was once when the owner of the site asked me to boost up the rating just a smidgen because I had given that book a 2. It was boosted to 2.5, if I remember correctly.

I’m not proud of caving on that score. It was my first book review, and I have never liked confrontation. I didn’t change the scathing written review, although I did add in some qualifiers such as “some might like this story because …”.  Like I said, not proud at all.

After that one, I talked about it with a couple of friends and decided that although free reading matter was nice, being able to live with myself is more important and I said that I wouldn’t boost scores or the review and if I got asked to change it, I’d quit the site. 

After that, I have submitted a number of reviews with a note saying that I refused to budge on that particular review because I could not, in good conscience, recommend it.

That said, I have to admit that although I’m mostly truthful about what I’m reviewing, I do censor myself. For example, I did not say, about one particular trainwreck of a Mary Sue, that “it is the written equivalent of bloody diarrhea on a plate”, for example. I also didn’t say exactly on one other review that “angst does not literature make”.

So, am I trustworthy or no? I do not have the answer to that. I’d like to think I am, but perhaps others wouldn’t agree.
 

10.21.08

On the ethics of blogging

Posted in Ethics and morality tagged , at 1:00 pm by kyrias

Questions:
- Should a blogger accept free products in exchange of a review?
- Further along that vein, should a blogger accept money for a review?
- For that matter, what is the concensus (silly me for assuming there is one) on advertisements on blogs?

First off, I would like to state that I would not lose trust in a blogger I read regularly if they accepted money or free products in exchange for a review.

Joel notes in this post that gifting free products “is ethically indistinguishable from bribery. Even if no quid-pro-quo is formally required, the gift creates a social obligation of reciprocity.” He further states that even when the blogger discloses that the product was a gift, “their message is corrupting the medium”. I read somewhere else, I forget who, that the mere fact that you’re devoting time and space to it says something. It brings the product advertisement and you lend it credibility by writing about it.

That said, I honestly think the only people who really have to watch out are the food bloggers. Who, coincidentally are the original group who led me to wonder about this question. The fact that food is highly tweakable is my main concern. Hence, bloggers shouldn’t ever allow resturants to know if they are a highly read food critic.

Nathan Weinberg points out, quite rightly, that anyone who reads him regularly should know better than to suspect him and that he wouldn’t want to read anyone who thinks they would be swayed by a mere laptop. He also says that there is no feeling of obligation, because the PR people know the score and so does he.

I agree. I often get free food as resturants where we go often in China. That has never affected my ability to tell if it was good food or not. But then, some people who know me call me a complainer, so what can I say?

Money, now that’s a tad touchier. After all, there’s a lot more emotion and interest tied up in money. You can use it whenever you like, however you like. It’s also interesting to wonder whether readers that would be ok with someone accepting free products wouldn’t be accepting of the blogger accepting money. After all, if someone is essentially helping you to pay rent — are you sure you can be impartial about it?

I think, in the end most professional bloggers don’t want to dirty their own pool, so to speak, and they will try to be as impartial as possible regarding reviews and their audience should be able to tell the difference.

10.20.08

Saving vs debt

Posted in Money tagged , , , at 12:10 pm by kyrias

I have to admit, I’ve been ignoring the “establish an emergency fund, now!” advice that everyone gives, from David Bach and Suze Orman to that other PF blogger down the Internet street.

Caesura and I are really barely keeping afloat and there’s not much left after paying the bills. In fact, I suspect we’re in the red for this month. We have been very much in the red for the past three months, but I blithely chalked that up to moving and settling expenses. What is left, I’m throwing entirely into paying off that 5k of credit card debt I have.

I figure that I really can’t afford to be spending another 70 or so dollars a month on fees and I can also beg for temporary loans to pay the bills if I have to. I’m betting that friends and family will be able to help out, without that additional 20% interest rate.

I can’t figure if this is foolhardy or not. All I know is that I’m sick and tired of being in debt and one of the few satisfying things in my life right now is looking at the numbers go down, and hopefully stay down.

On that note, a lot of PF people are suggesting that when straits are as dire as ours — we should be trying to look for alternate cash flows.

So, C, if you’re reading this, about that selling sperm idea… I’m honestly this close to hopping on Craig’s list and putting my eggs up for sale. :P Of course, now that mom lives in the area, it might be a bit hard to explain to her what I’m doing and why. I’ve very carefully kept my financial state private and I really don’t want to have that conversation with the parents. Or those conversations, even.

Filling out that Starbucks app is going to happen tonight, and I’ll have to drop it off sometime soon.

Part of why I’m dragging my feet on it is that I honestly don’t know if I can handle working 60 or more hours a week. Also, I don’t want to give up my weekends - partially because of the free time, partly because I really need to try and get some volunteer work in for grad school and work purposes, and partly because it’s going to be really hard to explain to the parents why it’s necessary. See last line of the paragraph before last. Not to mention if I mention finance problems, that’ll probably bring up the “move back home and I’ll cover room and board while you concentrate on paying off debt and saving for grad school” speech.

I think it might be worth it to see if C’s and my financial problems next year will be eased by my moving back with my parents. If Riot moves in, which she might, if I move out, then we won’t have that problem with rent going up and C and I will save on my part of the humongous food bill.

10.19.08

Randomosity

Posted in Random-osity tagged , , , at 12:54 pm by kyrias

I’m still thinking about keeping chickens. Sounds like they’d make decent pets in addition to potentially earning their keep. Hrm, with food prices going up, sounds like it might be a decent idea. The good news is that Somerville apparently allows for keeping chickens, unlike, say Cambridge.

Now, only thing to do is to convince the landlord it’s a good idea. On the other hand, with winter coming on, it might not be the brightest of ideas to start now. Oh well.

~~*~~*~~

I fail at both NaNoWriMo and NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month). By the way, what’s with NaNoBloMo? I mean, National ___ Blogging Month? Wut? I’ve not only failed in past years to churn out a novel, but apparently I also fail at doing something as simple as blogging daily. There went my resolution :P At any rate, not to be sour-grapish, but posting a link to YouTube and saying that you liked it is not what I’m thinking of when I think about posting.

That said, I’ve joined http://nablopomo.ning.com/ and hopefully I can do better for the rest of this month -zomg it’s already the 20th! - and for November. That reminds me — rent is due. Urgh.

~~*~~*~~

I’m thinking about applying to Starbucks, a.k.a *$, a.k.a Starbux part-time. Kell, who works there, say that they might not accept my app now because they’re getting enough people and they might not want to deal with my “night and weekends only” diva-ness. Pity. I think I’ll app anyways and see what happens. I’m none too keen on working more than 40 hours a week anyways and it might be nice to just have the decision taken out of my hands.

~~*~~*~~

Thene, about that memoir writing thing. You still interested? :(
I’m thinking about putting up a page with that will be periodically updated with writing stuff. Caesura says I should write more as I’m a “decent writer”. The unfortunate thing is I’m an attention whore and it’s really hard for me to write into a void.

~~*~~*~~

I should probably update my Amazon wishlist. Some of the items there are a couple of years old and aren’t even available anymore. Kell found that out when he visited. So I guess sprucing that up will be on the to-do list. That said, I never really expected people to find and use it. I just toss items there that I kinda-sorta-maybe want but don’t want enough to pay for out of hand. The stuff I do want goes into my 600 item deep “saved for later” section of the cart. Too bad Amazon doesn’t have a “move to wish-list” option :P

 

10.18.08

Coffee cake

Posted in Cooking tagged , , at 8:31 pm by kyrias

It’s getting to be cold in the house, and so I’m more likely to start baking things. Partially because it helps warm the house up, and partially because I like baking and there’s at least 4 other people who will help me eat up what I make.

King Arthur Flour’s blog has a very nice recipe for Coffee cake, and that’s where I started. I didn’t quite stick to their measurements for flour and cinnamon because I felt that our cinnamon wasn’t as fragrant as it should have been and as for the flour I was afraid that I’d be packing the flour in too tightly, resulting in a dense cake. I’ve made it once before in two nine inch cake pans and it turned out well, but I thought that there was too much “crust” as opposed to crumb. So I bought a 9X13 cake pan today to see how well that turns out.

Filling:
1 cup brown sugar
2 tbsp cinnamon

Streusel:
3/4 cup brown sugar  & 1/4 cup white sugar
1 cup flour                      2 tbsp cinnamon
1/4 cup melted butter and 2 tbsp milk

Cake:
1 & 1/4 cup milk and 3/4 cup yogurt
3 cups flour
1 cup white sugar 1/2 cup brown sugar
3/4 cup melted butter
1 tbsp vanilla
2.5 tsp baking powder
4 eggs (because mine were really small ones)
1 tsp salt

Both times I made this, I felt like there wasn’t enough batter for the layer above the filling. Probably I should have spread out the bottom layer a bit more and left more for the top layer — but each time it felt like I didn’t have enough to go around. I’m pretty tempted to make half the recipe for the cake batter so I have more to spread, but that might not turn out so well.

10.17.08

Should parents pay college tuition for their kids?

Posted in Children tagged , at 10:19 pm by kyrias

Brip Blap says that parents shouldn’t be expected to pay for their kid’s college tuition. The readers mostly seem to agree with that concept.

I’m just going to put out there, that if I’m not prepared to help pay my children’s tuition, I’m simply not going to have kids.

I do not subscribe to the idea that once they hit 18 they are legally adults, and as such I’m not responsible for paying for them.

Certain people have commented that they have felt that putting themselves through college was a good experience for them and that they appreciated having that opportunity. Certain others point out that it is insane to expect parents to shell out what might be a couple hundred k, what with inflation, for a child’s private school education.

I’m not going to dispute any of that.

I don’t agree that college is simply a time to have fun, get laid, figure out how much alcohol tolerance you have, and maybe study a bit on the side. That said, I think that my child might have a more enjoyable and productive college career if s/he didn’t have to work 40 hours a week and had astronomical amounts of stress.

I’m not going to put my retirement in jeopardy or foolishly pay out the nose for a kid who doesn’t know how to appreciate the amount of money I’m putting into his/her education.

However, considering that children whose parents have the financial means to do so are not eligible for aid — I’m also would never consider making them shoulder the entire burden by themselves if I was in any way able to help. It’s true that perhaps equipping them with common sense, a good work ethic, and a strong foundation in education would be more useful than simply throwing money at their college career.

Perhaps, but not definitely. Scholarships are getting more and more competitive to obtain and what with the current financial mess, it’s also difficult to find lenders willing to loan money.

I’m not going to go into the concept of private schools vs public. I went to The College of Wooster, and it’s a private school that my parents paid out the nose for. I don’t regret going there, but I’m pretty sure there’s also a post somewhere in my archives about how I’m fairly sure the amount of money spent compared to what I got wasn’t worth it.

That said, getting a piece of paper with B.A somewhere on it is almost indispensable in today’s society so far as I can tell. I’ve seen how some jobs simply screen out applicants who don’t have a college degree. There’s nothing anyone can say to convince me that a college degree isn’t almost mandatory to get a good job.

Not being willing to help your children obtain it if you could and they were deserving of it? I’d honestly have real problems with your worldview.

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